Sunday, July 24, 2011

changes

Life update time. Honestly, writing this all out always seems to help me think a bit clearer, so... Actually, fuck that. I don't need an excuse to fling the stories of my life into the nether. You all are the ones needing the excuse, reading something as boring as my life.

Anyhow. Philly trip, new job, school dilemma.

I went out to Philadelphia after Boris got the idea into my head of surprising his girlfriend, and my good friend, MaryKay with a birthday visit. I love being spontaneous like that, but there is always a bit of me less than enthused with my spending habits. I need to be saving, putting myself on a budget, being an adult. These are things I should be doing. But what is life without these moments? I love those two way too much to let so much time pass without seeing them as I allowed in the past. There were moments that I wouldn't have traded for anything, and the weekend was worth every penny. Some hilarious karaoke, a birthday dinner and party that I'll remember forever, a game of soccer that my body is still trying to forget. These things are beautiful, and remind me what everything is about.

I have a new job. I admit, it's not a big change from what I already have, as I'll be working front desk for a hotel. But, there are such better prospects with this place, and if I may be desperately honest, the culture change is what I need the most. The people at my older job, I can't think of more petty people. I have one person there that I would call a friend. The rest are so unhappy with their lives, or dead to the world already, that it leeches away at you. I feel that energy sapping away from me every hour I spend toiling and wasting myself in their building. It's a sick, cancerous thing, and it tries so hard to kill you. To drain you dry. I came here hoping to help change things, and was slowly defeated. It's rough here. But, now it's just an easy way to make a couple extra dollars to weasel away. I can start saving for my life Post loan debt! What a wondrous life that will be.

Honestly, I'm not so worried about schooling. Erick kinda saved me from that with a bit if sage advice. I still need to make a few calls, but it no longer has that bleak feeling to it. When I look forward, I don't feel that foreboding sense, that curious "shit's going to hit the fan" tingle.

Annnd, I'm done. I'm tired. And I should be working.

FragileArt

2 comments:

  1. I love your philosophy, Mike. "But what is life without these moments? I love those two way too much to let so much time pass without seeing them as I allowed in the past. There were moments that I wouldn't have traded for anything, and the weekend was worth every penny." You should have told me you were in Philly, I would have come seen you. I'm only an hour away from there.

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  2. I'm glad you're not worrying about your future as much 'cause your life will come together on its own time. I doubt shit will "hit the fan" for you though. Oh, but for me? Yeaaah...it'll happen at some point.

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