updates.

Alright, it's been a crazy couple of days.

Let's start with friday. I work 8 hours, from 2pm until 10. I then drive quickly out to Oakland to attend my friends sisters 21st birthday party. Much alcohol is imbibed, and much fun is had. Some of it, I suppose, less than clean and family friendly, but luckily my character is not under question here. It was just a great time. The only problem was, it ended around 4amish for me, and I had filming starting at 6am. Yeah. That's legit, right there. So, spent two hours trying my best to get some lines saved in my head, meanwhile lamenting what a stupid idea it was to have allowed myself to be awake so long.

So, we proceed to film until 11, and I get about an hour nap at home, which I had driven back to so I could collect my boots. Of course, I manage to forget them after the nap that did nothing but make everything worse. Luckily for me, my director Fred was a hero, and let me crash on his couch from 1pm until 5. Then, my producer D.J. fed me. Man, it's nice being the lead of a film. Totally re-energized, we got everything together... Only to find out that we wouldn't be able to continue filming that day due to some of Freds friends not doing their part. I get out of all that around 7:30... Only to have an overnight shift to pull off. And then, drive out to Indiana county at 6am. What a life.

But, I did get to wake up to the beautiful Samantha, eat with a good old friend, and then catch the Vagina monologues with Mama Forbes. Haha, such a sweet, gorgeous lady. It was such a good showing, too. I usually expect a 50/50 sort of experience with these sorts of shows, half good, half bad. But, I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised. Most in the show did a very good job, with the best in my opinion held by Sarah Blantz, Chelsea Forbes, and Tiffany Hallcambell, with Sam being right up there as well. Honestly, I was blown away by each. Sarah, though she started to lose a bit of her accent at one point, made me feel for her character so much more than I ever had. I've seen this show numerous times, and have see some good actresses try their hands at The Flood, and I typically have enjoyed watching it done, but this was something else. Very impressed. Tiffany hit Reclaiming Cunt with such energy and force of personality, it was perfect. My only complaint comes with her moving too fast. I feel that if she had taken a bit more time with it that she could have coaxed more out of the audience by the time it came to chant. I've never seen Under the Burka before, but Chelsea surprised me. It could have easily felt too long, but she paced it well, and kept me interested. Sticking to the chair, keeping a very demure sort of posture was perfect. And Sam, I wish she had taken more time to make it her own, but she had a good feel for the role. And she didn't even attempt a British accent, which I am very happy about. I can't stand a badly done accent, and though I don't know if hers would have been, I just know it's hard to pull off. It was a wonderful show, ladies.

And then, after that finished, I had to drive for two hours out to my friend Victors for his housewarming party. It was so nice to catch up with a couple of old friends. In that group, I was a late, fringe addition at the end of highschool, so I never really was cemented into it. Which is sad, because I very much enjoy all of them, and the whole once every other year thing gets so old, so fast.

Isn't that life though? People fall to the wayside as you keep powering forward. No one has enough time for everyone. It's just how it works. Sad. Got a couple fun pictures from that party, though, and I can't wait for summer now. I'll enjoy making use of his pool.

Anyhow! That's enough for now. Time to rest. Finally.

FragileArt

late night, no sleep to be found

I just want to be able to get up and work out before work. That's all I ask, body. Just fall asleep so I can.

My filming went... Interestingly. So, first day of filming, and the sound/camera guy breaks his hand (or at least tore a ligament? Whatever) and an actor shows up just drunk off his ass. The dude even had the nerve to try to critique My acting, during the 50th time we'd had to re-shoot a scene because he couldn't get his shit together. "... subtlety, subtlety..." like he has some place to speak from. I honestly feel like I could have killed him. Just, strangled the little fuck. But, it wasn't worth it. We needed him to finish, and I can't quite take my shot from a jailcell, can I? But, man. It'd been a long time since I'd felt such a strong urge to cause someone harm.

I gotta say though, I love how reminiscent of Tost (my old acting group) this filming session was. People unable to show, people being less than professional, and a handful of people trying their damnedest to put it all together and make it work. Most of these kids were pretty awesome, too, though one in particular was making my hair raise. Something about a dude that thinks he's smarter than the rest... Mm, just makes me want to gently lower him a peg or two. But I think I've found ways to bug him covertly. (... Subtlety, subtlety...)

In Other News! I've really sorta kinda not enjoyed examining the evolution of some of my friendships. Recently had to part ways with an old friend, and that just broke my heart. But worse, it's got me re-evaluating others. It's sad to find out that when you allow other people to set the level of friendship you both have, they might decide that the "Acquaintance Occasionally Run Into at Social Gatherings" option fit them best. I feel I should still be grateful. I have a a pair of awesome best friends, old and new, and my play lover. And, an interesting romantic interest. Not everyone has that much, with the amount of casual and great friends on the side that I do.

Now that I think of it, I'm pretty lucky. I actually feel like there are a lot of people in that "Casual-to-Great" category that would go to some extreme lengths if I needed it. It's just occasionally hard to see that, I suppose, from the perspective of a guy that would have any of his friends backs. If I actually label you friend, you can trust that no matter the situation, I'll be there. You get yourself on the bad side of 30 huge muscleheads, and I'll be on one of their backs gouging eyes before they can get a second punch in. And I'll join you shortly thereafter in getting our asses kicked. But, I'll have tried. I can't see myself not, you know? Weasely as I am, just not in me.

Aww, look at me with such high expectations of my character and assuming things of others. I must be very in tune with myself and the world. Maybe I'm just a lamer.

FragileArt

mm. good day.

'm delightfully sore today, but you know what? Totally worth it. Got to spend an evening (spaghetti diner, several new wines to try, and fun music. Win.) with two old friends, and one I'm getting to know better. A lot of fun conversation.

One if the things I was reminded of while taking with them was that I actually am quite moderate politically. It's just that with typical conservatives being... Well, completely batshit crazy most of the time, it gets lost that I don't always fully agree with the left either. Typically, I know, I can be found championing the rights of people to choose, you can also find me turning my nose up at laws that l, for one, think are ridiculous. Like the law in PA that requires you to wear a seatbelt. That's just Silly. You let us smoke cigarettes, but we can't drive without protection for only ourselves. Silly, hypocritical. At least pretend that you're not protecting lobbyist interests.

I'm also not opposed to guns. Obviously there needs to be regulation and no one needs an assault rifle, but to not allow the purchase? Eh. Whatever.

Oh well. At work. Should work.

FragileArt

creative surge.

Creative. That’s new.

I mean, I’m creative in a sense. I like to embody things. I’m not so good at creating though. But I’ve had this idea in my head for a play, and I can’t quite get it to vacate, you know? I had one really good day, dialogue hitting me for hours, and I sat down putting it to word file. After that though, it’s been months of nothing. I have the general idea of the entire thing, I know how I want it to end, I know how the characters are, but it’s the writing that alludes me.

But, I guess not? I’ve just busted three pages out (Woah! I know! Three pages! So much!) and what I’ve found is… Yeah. I’d obviously be more interested in acting, or coaching the actors in it. I keep trying to describe more than I need to of the characters actions and thoughts. I don’t stop myself, this is just a rough first through, and I like having all that before me. But sifting through it later to make the actual script? That’s going to be tough to me. I think I’ll just be too protective of it. How can I trust a director and actors I’m not working with to ever do my thoughts justice?

Not that this’ll be anything spectacular, I’m sure, but it’ll mean something to me. I probably ought to just stick of acting and directing. But, I like this idea, even if I don’t intend to do anything with it. I’ll probably just type it up afterwards, and keep it for myself. Not even quite sure I’ll put it out there for friends to read. Hm. We’ll see.

FragileArt

so, a wild schedule appears.

Mm, yeah. It's been a decent couple of days. Time with friends, and well, some people I do my best to pretend are friends, is always time well spent.

I guess the real noteworthy news is that I'll be starting filming soon. I don't want to talk this up like it's anything big, but it is exciting. To me, at least. It's not earthshaking, but it's my first opportunity to show myself off on a larger stage than college could support. I'll be getting my first look at the script soon, so... My worry is that this part won't let me show off my normal role. I'm typically type cast. This cop, from what I've read and seen just doesn't fit the mild. I'm more ecentric and weasely than forceful and aggressive. But isn't that exactly what I should want? I should be stretching my acting range, not trying to hide behind what I know I can do.

This just isn't that serious. It's the perfect stage for this sort of artistic exploration. Though, for them, (filmer and assistant) it poses greater risk. Getting the most out of me should be their foremost interest, but maybe they saw something I didn't. I guess a bit of my fear in this is that they didn't actually think I was better at this role than the supporting one that was the more typical for me, but instead that I was simply the best actor that showed. I get the main role not out of merit, but out of lack of someone better to fill the need when I could have been a more perfect fit elsewhere.

Hm. Either way though, should I even be bothered? Bah! I'll just take it as a challenge. Screw worry. I'll Make the film, and then move on to my next opportunity.

Basically, if I have to peddle cigarettes much longer, I will go insane. Ugh. Disgusting.

Fragile Art

oy vey: abortion again?

So, we're on this again, huh? Sad. I just don't have the energy and that is what's the worst part. Apparently, the GOP is opening up the abortion debate again. And don't get me wrong, I've always loved that. I live for the thrill of telling an idiot that what he's believed in for so long, and been taught so strictly, is wrong. Telling then that it's ridiculous and appalling that they think for some reason they deserve to tell someone else what to do with their body. How I just don't see where they come from. You think that your belief system should supersede someone elses, but that none is ever allowed to do such to yours or you'll have a hissy fit?

I just don't have the energy any more. I grow weary of the weak debates, spoken with such conviction. They may have never thoroughly thought through the issue, but damn are they convinced what they've been taught is right. It WAS amusing once, but it's just a bit depressing now.

I am pro-choice in almost all things. This is no different. A person should always have final say over what goes on with their body. If that means having a mass of cells removed, so be it. Your personal opinion does not matter. If you have an issue with what is done, simply don't do it yourself. But respect the rights of others. That seems so simple, doesn't it? And yet...

anxious.

Yep. Had a short film audition today. It was interesting. Different, at least, seeing as almost all my experience comes from theater and stage work. I forget that it isn't so important to project, to let my near instinctual gesturing calm to normal levels... But with all that, I still think I made a good showing of myself.

I got there early, helped them get set up, was very personable (to distraction, actually. We got off track way too often), and, well, they won't be forgetting me too easily. Those are the pluses. And one role, a supporting one, is right up my alley. He's the smiling "I'm taunting you" smug kind, and I play those so well.

And, yet, I feel uneasy about it. I don't know this terrain well. It's my first, post-college, real-career choice audition. It's no longer a hobby. This is, someday, going to be my job. So... Getting cast is important, and I can no longer just expect it like I used to. TostAndTurned parts became an expectation. I always knew I'd have a big role, if not a lead. For all their drama that went down, it never was an uncertainty, even as I waited up until midnight for the results.

So, it's a new era. I'm a business man. I'm working. I'm investing my talent towards something. Gotta believe I'm going to make it just as easy as it used to be.