Thursday, March 24, 2011

focus.

I really need to start checking myself. I've set myself on a course for the next couple of weeks that could turn out to be somewhat expensive. Trip to chicago for the next three days, trip to philly in two weeks for three days... With my phone, car, and student loan bills all hitting at the same time. And some weak paychecks due to me retiring days off. I need to tread lightly here. It's a scary place when money gets thin.

On the other hand, I've always been good at handling dire situations. I can focus and find a seriousness my normal, everyday self lacks. When confronted with these scenarios, I tend to handle myself do much better... Sometimes, it makes me wonder what it'd be like if I could find this mode in normal life. And why I never seem to.

Bah. I'll survive, even if I must lie, cheat, and steal. It's what I do.

So, chicago tonight (technically). This should be interesting. I have a friend who is a stage manager out there, and has a show going up. If I'm completely honest, I would day that I don't even know what show she's putting on, but... What kind of friend would I be if I admitted to that? :] I'll enjoy myself, though. Hopefully make some friends, seeing as Chicago remains an option for me later in life. But, that's something for another day.

I've been hearing the phrase "unalienable rights" in reference to people lately, and I can't tell you strongly enough how much that annoys me. When did humans hit the point that our egos grew so big as to cause us to forget that, in the end, we are still nothing more than animals? We have the same rights as all animals (i.e. To die, to be eaten by something stronger/bigger/faster/smarter than ourselves...). There is no Human Right to freedom, to health, to happiness. There is no right to equality. What we have are the contracts (spoken, unspoken) between each other that basically say "if you don't do these terrible things to me, I won't to you." But that doesn't make a right.

Not that I'm interested in anarchy or chaos. I just don't like that we've forgotten our place so easily. Our ideals are wonderful things to strive for, but let us leave our heads the correct size.

I'm also interested in this idea of what humans will be someday that so many people enjoy, even if it's just subconscious for the most part for a great number of us. The idea that we will someday evolve into these peaceful, beautiful creatures. Transcending these petty feelings of selfishness and the impulses to do "evil." Somehow, that thought just makes me laugh.

We're animals. We're temporary. We always will be. And that isn't such a bad thing.

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