Wednesday, June 20, 2012

it's been a long hot summer.

The first thing that any good actor learns very fast? You always put on a good face for the world. No matter what is going on in your life, you smile for the rest of the world. They aren't looking to you to bring them down.

Well, you either learn that or you end up on one of two paths:

A) You flame out. It's just not so easy to get roles when you just fall apart.

B) You become known as a "Dramatic Person." Not really something that makes anyone excited to work with you.

Dunno really why I bring that up right now, but it was just something I was thinking about on my drive home today from the hotel. I left early, half because I knew I would have to be back in the morning, the other half because it was just painful to be there. I'm typically alright if someone's in a bad mood, so long as they don't make it infectious. An associate of mine was having a bad day, didn't care to talk about it, but at the same time did care to make it uncomfortable to work with them. And, so, I'm home an hour early and I refuse to feel bad about ditching them. I offered, and that's that.

The kickstarter for a couple shorts me and a friend are working on will be going up soon, unless there are some serious problems, so that's a good thing going on right now. I'm excited to see what kinda support we get, and to get to real work on this. It's sorta scary, you know? I want to get Really excited about it, but it's such a small venture. I don't want to invest so much into something like this. I want to keep it in perspective, because at the end of the day these are just our first work. At least, my first, his first while working with me. We're cutting our teeth here, not trying to break the world. 10 minute clips aren't going to make careers. We'll still have such an uphill battle to face, but dammit. It sounds so exciting. I'm getting to make those first steps.

I still have to get to IUP soon. I'm going to see if I can't force my friend to Force me to get on that, because I think I need the added motivation. It's something I have so little interest in doing. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm more motivated Not to do it, which is terrible. But it has to be done. I'm such a weird person. I'm so good typically at dealing with the "Fuck. Alright. Let's just lower our heads and bull forward. It'll be fine" kinda situations, and yet, this doesn't fall under that umbrella somehow. I just honestly want nothing to do with being graded over BS, with writing another paper that means absolutely nothing to me. College wasn't a waste in my opinion, but only through the friendships I made and the experiences I lived through.

'Eh, anyhow. Continue on with your night.

Fragile Art.

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