Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Oh, I am a Villain... But I'm not Your villain.

That is such a nice line. Heavens above, how I love such lines.

"Hell! Is Repetition!"

What a glorious moment in my life, such words exploding with all necessary emotion and flair of the dramatic. I don't think I'll ever have a line so well written, and so well timed. Of course, I invite anyone to attempt to top it, obviously. Write it, I'll portray it, and even if you fall short, I won't think any less of you. I'll simply have enjoyed the try. I still want to act, so badly. It's a fire in my blood. I know that, while I'm doing it, I feel invincible. A force that cannot be tamed, with only the hope of directing it between us all and it's fury. While on the stage, I know where I'm meant to be. I'm a creature made to wear the mask, to bring to life fantasy and fiction.

Sometimes it's weird to just be myself, you know?

I find it's so much easier to play a part. I know what's expected of me by everyone else. It's become instinct simply to satisfy it. And they all judge, of course, as if they really knew what I am. But they don't. The mob is as it always is. Stupid and base.

The idea of someone talking behind my back is always a curious one. On one hand, I could care less what most peoples feelings and thoughts towards me are. I don't have an abundance of respect to give out, so it's given out sparingly. On the other hand, I'm honestly just insulted they don't have the guts to say it to my face. I don't care what you have to say, I only care that you own up to it. Look me in the face when you have something to say, and be out with it. Otherwise, be on your way. You're obviously not worthy of moments of my full attention.

Oh, do I feel grandiose tonight! This is what happens when I want to act. I could bound all across the earth like this, I feel such an abundance of energy. I cannot Wait to be done with this phase of my life. Let the student loans get out of my Way, so as I can start Using this energy towards something worthwhile. I also suppose I could go back. I've been toying with that for a while.

Should I? I do admit I grow tired of having to say I didn't finish, having to explain myself. I shouldn't Have to explain myself. But I can't lie and say I wouldn't feel better with that stupid piece of paper, even if it ends up costing me a few more thousand over time... Maybe I could leave this pathetic job of mine. It'll keep me from doing anything stupid like getting myself fired, at least. Ah well.

Have a good one, World.


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