Monday, September 19, 2011


.It's a beautiful night for rain. It's so perfect, a brilliant book ending, and nature doing her best to cleanse me. I feel just so alive right now.

This book, A Book Thief... It's something. I've dreaded finishing it for close to a year. I've always kept it close, but I knew that it'd be a powerful ending. I just wasn't ready, you know? He kept teasing me with what was to come, letting me know the ending, but not the direct steps to it, and never quite hinting at the powerful words he'd use to describe it all.

I find it hard to put it into words. Out was jotted down with such tenderness, it was heartbreaking. It started so slow, it made me anxious, and then when he finally got to it, to the real ending, I could feel tears welling up. I'm sitting here in a dingy, messy getgo office, listening to mem work right outside the open doorway. As they lay down our new floor, I'm finding myself almost sobbing. He made me care so much for Hans and Rosa, for Rudy. You'd have to be a monster to not care for them as much as I did in the end. There I am, tears just doing what tears do. Fucking hot damn, mister Markus Zusak. Thank you for that.

I needed it. It's been a day, honestly. A good one, a bad one. Visited old stomping grounds, took a small step towards finishing my degree. I stole time with friends, held hands, kissed cheeks, hugged for minutes, drank in of them. This is what life is about. Screw all those fancy ideas of careers, legacies, change and money. Life is friendship. It's sharing moments. It's trading in care and love, the important passions. I prefer to fill my life with those, with a tiny amount of time set aside for lesser things like accruing money and making a name for myself. If it were possible to keep these people all in one place, I don't think I'd even care much to do that. Sadly, they all seem interested in living their own lives and chasing dreams and such.


So, to make continual contact possible, I suppose I should work on this career and money thing. So sad.

One more visit to iup is planned for tomorrow, and filled already with friends. A late lunch with a friendship I am hoping I can rekindle, a day with a friend who needs all the love he can get right now, and a place offered to comfortably sleep and talk.

What a delightful life.

I love how something like a good movie or book enlivens me. The absolute best drug.

Fragile Art

No comments:

Post a Comment