Monday, September 26, 2011

a letter to remind me.

Life is so strange. I've never really thought about how little skill I have at writing letters, and how little I really have to convey with them. I finally read the letter of an old friend of mine. I met them during a bad time in my life, and while I treated them badly then, we've still managed to hammer out one of the stranger relationships that I have. We don't talk often, and when we're around each other we spend most of the time in silence, simply sitting oddly comfortable in each others presence. They were a balm of sorts for me once, and I think I've taken on that rule now... But it's just strange. It's a friendship I expect to read about, not live. It's straight from a John Irving novel. I suppose I'm talking about it here as a way to make less unreal. It exists because it's put down to words.

Any how, I owe them a letter, along with a number of people. Life is simply too numbing at the moment for me. What would I write? "Oh, hey, you know how it is. Just working everyday, sneaking in what film projects that I can, enjoying as each feels less useful and more a waste of my time than the last. Ah well! At least I occasionally work in a visit to a friend to break up the routine!" I play League Of Legends (badly), work (the minimum possible, but I've found ways to convince myself to keep at it), eat (unhealthily), and sleep (the last part here is a lie, typically.)

That's the current life.

I Have decided, though, that I would rather swallow a bullet than ever be one of the people that come through a gas station regularly (i.e. Daily). Honestly. That's not even an idle comment.

Fuck. I have to have something worth talking about beyond that. What is my opinion on something controversial...

The Beatles were ok?

Ok, ok. Whatever. So! No more facebook. Tis old news by now, but it feels like something that should be explained.

I don't like all the people that think I like them.

That's a big part of it. I grew very tired of reading about the everyday bullshit happenings in peoples lives who meant nothing to me beyond not caring to have the "we're not really friends" conversation. When half the people on my friends list became me conceding, I figured it was time to stop. Between my phone, google+, skype, and twitter, I can keep in touch with the important ones. The others... We'll, it's probably best to let those just fade away.

Friends lists... What a ridiculously high school concept anyway. It's the saddest popularity contest, even if you're not trying to collect friends. Just making the decision of what people to keep just so you don't have to be awkwardly caught after deleting them is depressing. So, no facebook. And nothing of value was lost.

Fragile Art

1 comment: