Wednesday, April 13, 2011

hey, jealousy.

Mm. So much has happened since last I updated this. (Well, not technically. I may have drunk updated at one point, but I destroyed the evidence of that.) So, we have Philly Adventures Staring Boris Petkov and his delightful girlfriend MaryKay (I honestly don't care if she does that capitalized K in her name, I'll do it for her if not). We have sorta cute bus rise home. We have realization that I've managed to come across a couple friendships that are more than words can give praise to. And... France. Weird?



Anyhow. So, I took a three day vacation and sent myself to Philly (note to self: find another cheap time to do this soon). The first day is sometimes so sharp in my memory, and sometimes so hazy, and I blame that thoroughly upon the amount of alcohol my friends kept pushing towards me. The point of the trip was to get out there and spend some much overdue time with my friend, Boris. He's been there for me for a Long time, and it's honestly impossible to imagine my life had I somehow managed to miss him. But, that's a post for another day. I also wanted to get out there and get to know his new ladyfriend better, seeing as she has to get best friend acceptance if she wanted to continue dating him. From the moment I was off the bus, the plying began... "Hey, there's this really nice Irish-style pub we could get lunch at!" Had a beer there, some cognac in his room (good stuff), and then, off again to a wine bar to meet some of his work friends. They came late, after I'd had two glasses and was looking out the window waiting for my other friend Mark Wolfe to swing by and steal me for (Gasp! Who'd have guessed?!) drinks and dinner.

What I'm trying to say is, I was intoxicated at at least a low level the entire first day. Which is what I blame my drunken pouting that night on.

That night... What a surreal experience. I met back up with Boris, and we walked down to this posh hotel to visit this guy I'd met the last time I was out there named JJ. Nice guy, though I worry about his health sometimes. Anyhow, we get up to his place, change into trunks, and, with the addition of Gin (a friend of theirs, sweet girl) head off to the hotels hot tub to soak and pass around some fancy Belgian beers. Here I am, in this hotel, in this hot tub, with a future company owner, a rich "I helped found a company that eventually got bought out by google and now I work for them and they shit gold" charismatic bloke, and a cute foreign girl. Passing around bottles. How did I get there? When will that nice guy at the front door come walking up to ask me politely to leave, as he'd finally noticed that I didn't belong there. My drunk self, surrounded by opulence and excess suddenly became cripplingly aware of just how little he was worth (at least at the moment). Clammed up a bit, got alittle moody... What a shame. I typically handle those situations so much better than that, but I just didn't have it in me that night.

MaryKay. Her and Boris are cute. I'm trying to feel out how our triangle of a friendship will settle, though. I'd love something akin to what I have with Erick and Sam, but I have no idea on how to judge Boris. I don't want to make him feel awkward or jealous. I just felt like there was a great chance at having a very intimate relationship with MaryKay(without the intimates), just close as I am to him. I'd love to be able to show my affection with a kiss on the cheek or... Just showing attention to her. It''s hard to explain, but around boyfriends and girlfriends, you have to be constantly on guard. Some people get so jealous if you show too much interest, even if it's just friendly. But I didn't get that from them. We all cuddled to sleep that second night, and I couldn't have felt more at home or right. It's a great feeling that I get from the thought of maybe having two friendships like I have with Erick and Sam. It's warmth and love. Who doesn't want that? I just like being so close, without worrying about those physical details that sometimes get in the way. "Oh no! You're two humans! You couldn't possibly just have a simple love for one another without it getting hot and heavy!"

Honestly? It feels like family. I like that.

So, finally it came to trekking home, via megabus. I Barely make it there on time (thank you Boris, and your intuition), and end up the last person to get on. As I walk down the isle everyone gives me that old "we're too cool to share a seat" gradeschool vibe, and the only person kind enough to make room for me is this black girl in the back. After getting settled in I fall asleep against the window, and wake up to find her asleep, leaned over onto the seat between us with her head on my Sherlock Holmes bible. I had my coat in my lap, folded it, woke her up gently, and offered it. She accepted. No words exchanged at all. Just nice gestures. It was beautiful. I love moments like that, the ones that restore a tiny bit of faith in humanity. It's nothing big, of course, but little things like that just refresh.

And, I think I shall save my France thoughts for tomorrow. It's Waaay to late to still be up.

Fragile Art.

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