Thursday, April 7, 2011

i write like vladimir nabokov

Or so this text analyzer says. Hrm. While I've actually read about him before, I feel like it MAY be a bit of a lolfail of a comparison.

Ah, yeah. I'm enjoying the most delightful of tequila highs right now. Or is it lows? Lows implies that it's bad. It's not. It's delightful.

Spending so much time at IUP has led me to certain avenues of thought. 1) That, GOD DAMN, do I miss all of those people. There are so many people there that I miss, that I loved seeing every day. For all the drama, if that's the price? I'd pay it, gladly. (Sadly, the price has dollar signs..) 2) Where I am now just isn't the same.

But this is what I'm hoping for with Seattle. I love the concept of the recreation. I'm enamored with the idea of tearing myself apart and building myself again with all the lessons I've learned. The various me's (Gradeschool Mikey, high school Mrod, college Mike) disassembled, and reassembled with a bit more finesse. All of the better features taken and incorporated into a new whole. I think I got very close to what I want out of myself in college, but there were some obvious flaws with that model. It WAS wholly functional, though, and much more likely to survive in the real world than it's predecessors. The problem? I jettisoned some of the important ideals of previous builds. Well.. If I'm honest, I never Meant to let them fall away. I reacted to scenarios that I didn't expect, and in fashions I'm not always quite proud of. But, it was a learning experience, and an important one. I'll take all that information, and use it to mold something better.

I can't wait to meet the final me. Michael. A creature, yes, but hopefully one that I can Fully respect.

Haha, what a dream. It sounds like such bullshit, but I'd love for it to work out Just this way. Seattle has become such an ideal, I'm almost afraid for the moment when I've finally settled in. Because, when that happens, what are the odds that it can live up to the idea I've built up in my head? Hm.

That's the adventure though. And it's fun to know that I have so much more adventure to look forward to.

Fragile Art

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